Surviving Infidelity In A Marriage

by admin on September 30, 2010

survivetheaffair Surviving Infidelity In A Marriage

sadman Surviving Infidelity In A MarriageSurviving infidelity is not the easiest thing to do in a marriage. In the marriage vows, a couple commits not just before God, but even before their friends and family, that they will respect, love, and be faithful to each other. Life would truly be easy if people can just keep their end of the bargain, but unfortunately for some people, being faithful is easier said than done.

Once this happens, dealing with infidelity becomes inevitable — but if you really want to be successful at surviving infidelity, then you need to know these specific tips on dealing with infidelity.

The first thing that you need to remember is that you were not the reason why he/she was unfaithful to begin with. You might initially think that you are to be blamed for your partner’s dishonesty, but it is important for you to remember that it never was your fault because your partner was responsible for his/her actions when that affair happened.

Blaming yourself will do you no good — to the contrary, it will even make you feel guilty because you would then feel that if you had perhaps done something different or changed the way you were, then probably no cheating would have happened in the first place. Never allow yourself to be trapped by this mindset, because if you do, then you would be unduly taking the blame for your partner’s infidelity.

The second thing that you have to remember is that you may forgive your partner once, but never forgive him/her twice. This is important since in surviving infidelity, you have to make sure that your partner is capable of being faithful or not.

In dealing with infidelity, you ought to know if that affair was just a one time thing, or if your partner really has that innate propensity of sleeping around with other people. Most spouses, when blinded by love, will tend to think that that unfaithfulness won’t happen again, but when the opposite happens and they constantly find themselves dealing with the same infidelity issues all over again, then something is definitely wrong with the marriage.

The third thing that you have to bear in mind when surviving infidelity is that if you want to make the relationship still work after the cheating episode, you have to make sure that you both work on your issues together as you move forward from the infidelity. This may prove to be harder done than said — but if you really want to make things work again, you have to be there for each other, draw strength from each other, and work hard to make your relationship stronger, even when you are both dealing with infidelity.

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wife on phone 300x194 Is She Cheating On Me? Find Out And Stop WonderingIf you are asking, “Is she cheating on me?” then chances are you have a feeling that the things your wife says and does are not lining up. If you do, then you may be tempted to blow up and accuse her of cheating, but that is not a wise thing to do at this point.

Is She Cheating On Me? How To Find Out

You have to be willing to play it cool until you absolutely know the truth. If you start to accuse her of cheating on you, and she is, then she may bury the affair so deep that you will never find out the truth. And if she is not, then she may become resentful that you have so little trust in her.

If you keep your eyes open and pay attention, the truth will come out. She can only cover her tracks for so long and one day she will slip up. Until then, make sure you consistently do the follow things.

1. Pay Attention To Her Habits

If she is cheating on you, then she will developed new habits. For instance, she will start to come home late from work on a certain day. Habits are very hard to suddenly build unless there is a reward that comes from building that habit.

As you notice her building new habits, ask her about them. Don’t make it seem like you are angry or extremely curious, just keep it at a conversation level. For instance, “Your boss is sure making you stay late every Wednesday, isn’t he?” By doing this you will force her to come up with excuses and you can watch for inconsistencies in her stories.

2. Start Engaging In Her New Habits

This is where your suspicion will be validated. For instance, if she has started staying late at work every Wednesday, then go to her work with a concern, surprise, or another valid reason for going there. If she is not there, go home and wait for her to come home and then ask her why she had to stay late again. If she gives you an answer, ask her what time she worked until, and if she says a time after you showed up then you know she is hiding something.

3. Look For Proof

Now that you have a good idea something is happening, look for proof. Without physical proof, you cannot confront her. Even if you catch her in a lie, she can easily change her story to make it line up with her lie and you will have no basis to accuse her of an affair.

For example, find out where she goes every Wednesday. Follow her or have someone else follow her and she will lead you right towards her secret.

You have every right to do this if you have caught her in lies and feel as though something is happening. It is called taking charge of the situation, and as long as you don’t make it a habit (following her around 24 hours a day for the rest of her life) you are simply doing what you can for your own peace of mind.

My Wife Cheated On Me, Now What?

wifecheat 468x60 Is She Cheating On Me? Find Out And Stop Wondering

When you get the proof, confront her instantly. Do not let her talk her way out with a lie. If she tries, simply tell her that you are not willing to talk to her until she admits what she is doing. If she truly believes that you know she is having an affair, she will come clean sooner than later.

Then it is simply a matter of deciding whether or not you want to stay in the marriage; if you do, then you need to deal with the affair, find a way to move past it, and start rebuilding your relationship.

You will have to listen to your wife and find out why she had the affair. Her reasons may not seem valid to you, but for her they will be extremely valid and you have to acknowledge that. Then, you have to find a way to fix those issues.

In the end, I know when you are wondering ‘is she cheating on me’ it can be hard to be patient and look for signs of the affair, but you have to. Accuse a woman of an affair without proof and you may never know the truth. Once you find the proof, moving forward instead of dwelling on the affair is the key to success. Listen to her, find out why she had the affair, and start moving forward from there.

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Is She Cheating On Me? Find Out And Stop Wondering

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