How To Survive An Affair: 3 Tips To Begin Healing

by admin on September 11, 2010

survive an affairThis article offers three useful tips on how to survive an affair – controlling one’s emotions (keeping negativities at bay), understanding the reason for the affair and the pain it caused, and learning how to forgive.

How to Survive an Affair – 3 Tips to Begin Healing

By D P Haynes

Figuring out how to survive an affair when your relationship has just been robbed of its’ trust, commitment and innocence is a daunting task. There are so many emotions to be dealt with and issues to be resolved. There are questions and decisions regarding why did it happen and who is to blame and do we stay together or end our relationship now?

Needless to say there is a lot to be done if a relationship is going to survive after an affair occurs. Although no one who has been through this experience will tell you it is easy to deal with, they will tell you it’s possible.

There are some who decide to move on with their lives and part ways and I’m sure most people will understand that. You don’t need to have gone through such an experience to understand why infidelity can quickly end a relationship.

However, there are some who are determined to work through their problem. It is understandable why a couple, who has shared wonderful experiences and loved and cared for each other for years, would try to find a way to survive an act of unfaithfulness.

For those couples trying to figure out how to survive an affair here are 3 tips;

How to Survive an Affair – Tip #1

You need to ensure that you control your emotions as you begin to work through this painful circumstance. It will be tough to keep negativity and feelings of anger and rage at bay but it’s crucial that you do so. It’s also important that the person in the relationship who didn’t have the affair keep his or her head up and don’t think they are worthless because their partner had an affair.

To survive an affair and begin the healing process it’s important to be able to communicate effectively and you have the best chance of doing so when emotions are under control.

How to Survive an Affair – Tip #2

It’s also critical that the offending partner or unfaithful one understand why he or she had the affair and also understand the pain that the affair has caused. Whether it was a physical or emotional affair it’s a key step in the healing process and necessary to survive the affair and rebuild the relationship.

This will no doubt require some open and honest discussions. It’s a good idea to try to set some expectations before going into these conversations. It may also be helpful to write down some of the questions and share them ahead of time so the conversations are more productive and thoughtful. You want to avoid discussions that turn into angry shouting matches because of frustrating questions or answers.

How to Survive an Affair – Tip #3

To survive an affair and begin the healing process you also need to learn how to truly forgive! You have to realize that forgiving does not mean you have condoned or understand the reasons why he or she had an affair. To begin the healing process you are agreeing to move forward in your relationship and work on rebuilding trust, love and commitment and setting boundaries so that the unfaithfulness doesn’t happen again.

Forgiving your partner is they key to surviving an affair and will make or break your relationship. If you aren’t able to forgive it will be difficult to move forward in your relationship because the affair will always be a stumbling block between you.

You will not be able to forgive overnight but as you get your emotions under control, gain some understanding of the issues surrounding the affair and start to rebuild the trust and love, you will be able to truly forgive and survive an affair.

Next step?

I hope these few tips can help get you started to figure out how to survive an affair. There are many other steps you can take to learn how to survive an affair and heal your emotional wounds. See here for more information on; Surviving an Affair.

If you have the desire and commitment to make it through these difficult times I’m confident that you will make it and hopefully be able to share your testimony one day and help another hurting couple Survive an Affair.

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To survive an affair is obviously not an easy feat but if both parties are truly willing to save their relationship, then half the battle is won.

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