Marital Infidelity: Bad Moon On The Rise

by admin on October 4, 2010

marital infidelityMarital infidelity is a growing problem in America.  Statistics on this occurrence are hard to come by, since it seems that most occurrences of adultery are never reported.  As well, there are varying degrees of infidelity and not all forms include sexual encounters. 

Multiple surveys have been done on marital infidelity and have demonstrated that while 90% of married couples totally disapprove of marriage infidelity, 15 – 35% of wives and at least 25 – 45% of husbands have engaged in extramarital affairs.

Marital infidelity is a tough and heartbreaking topic for many people out there.  There are often signs that are too easily ignored because the idea of a husband or wife straying emotionally and/or physically from the marriage bed is a hard concept to let in.  It is easier to look for other reasons why a relationship is growing cold and isolated than to admit what many will view as “failure” when a spouse strays. 

Infidelity in marriage is not indicative of failure.  Infidelity can occur in a “happy” marriage as well as a troubled one.  Sometimes it may happen due to an increase in stress levels, often unexpected and surprising.  In this case, the guilty partner looks for a “distraction” or another ear to listen, for whatever reason he or she chooses.  It may be because his or her spouse is going through the same stress and he or she chooses not to burden the spouse with more complaints.  Whatever the cause, it is always hurtful when it comes out.

Marriage infidelity has many repercussions.  The spouse who remains faithful may be able to forgive the spouse who strayed, but it will still have a major toll on the marriage.  The grief, pain and depression that are experienced alone may destroy the marriage more than the act of adultery itself. 

This combines with the feelings of the spouse who went outside the marriage bed to fulfill his or her own desires.  The other reasoning for marital infidelity may be psychological issues that require some sort of therapy, such as intimacy issues, extreme conflict avoidance or even self-esteem issues. 

It is important to note that adultery or other types of infidelity is not the “fault” of the faithful spouse.  One person cannot control another person and if he or she would attempt to, that action in and of itself is doomed to failure. 

Though there may be steps one could take to theoretically prevent an adulterous act, such as ensuring open lines of communication or going to couples therapy on a routine basis to ensure things are talked out and kept in the open, there is never anything that someone can do to be at “fault” for someone else’s actions.  We are all our own people.

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