Stop My Divorce: What to Change

by admin on December 7, 2013

Are you asking the question, “How can I stop my divorce?” In order to stop your divorce, there is one thing that is required from you. This is going to be hard, because this is hard for many men to do when the relationship is going good. However, if you can master this one thing, then you can not only stop your divorce, but you can create a marriage that will grow stronger than it has ever been before. So, let’s talk about this ‘thing’ that you need to master.

How To Stop A Divorce And Start Nurturing Your Marriage Back To Health

If you really want to save your marriage, then you have to start being brutally honest about how you feel, what you need, and what you want out of your marriage. If you don’t, then your wife will never know the real feelings going on inside of you or be able to relate with you on an intimate level that a strong and healthy marriage requires.

You will find that being honest in this time of struggle will be hard to do. It leaves you vulnerable to being hurt even more, and that is not a situation that any man would naturally put himself in; however, if you want to stop your divorce, you will work through the fear and just do it.

How To Be Brutally Honest In Conversation

Following are four ways to be honest without ruining the conversation at hand. The more you practice honesty, the easier it will become.

1. Address issues that make you uncomfortable. Acknowledge to yourself that something is wrong, and openly discuss it with you wife. By doing this you are doing two things: First, you are tackling an issue that could potentially harm your relationship even more and, second, you are showing your wife that you are willing to open up and communicate about sensitive things that need to be talked about. Believe me, she will respect your courage at approaching hard to talk about subjects, and you will feel so much better after you do.

2. When you speak, don’t speak for your wife. In other words, use the word ‘I’ instead of the word ‘you’. For instance, say “I feel as though you don’t love me anymore.” If you say, “You don’t love me anymore!” then she will start to get defensive and the conversation will not be open and honest anymore. In fact, she may stop listening to you altogether.

3. Don’t use the word ‘but’ after you say something honest. For instance, don’t say, “I love you, but I wish you would be more like my mother.” (In fact, never say that!) The ‘but’ tells her that she should forget the first half of the sentence and only listen to the second half because that is what you really mean. This will not go over well with your wife and communication will start to turn ugly instead of honest and open.

4. Avoid reacting to her responses. Reacting emotionally will remove your rational thinking and honesty, and it will cause you to become defensive and put your guard up. Instead, ask to take a break for a moment and go and gather your thoughts. Relax yourself and stay in a place of calm.

Be Honest With Your Wife

A healthy marriage doesn’t have anything to hide, and that includes how you feel about certain issues that arise. By being honest with your wife, you will be resolving small issues before they become something big and big issues that could seal the deal on your divorce.

If she won’t talk to you, then use the above tips to create an honest letter for her. By making yourself vulnerable to her, you may be able to convince her that you are someone she can open up to without fear of being yelled at or judged.

Remember, if you are going to be honest with her, you have to allow her to be honest with you. There is no doubt that this will be painful. Honesty can hurt in the moment. However, when it is all said and done, you will both feel better about each other and the marriage, and you will no longer be searching for an answer to ‘how to stop my divorce?’.

 

Recommended Related Posts:

Survive An Affair: Putting the Man Back in The Marriage

Stop My Divorce: What to Change

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