Surviving Infidelity: Dealing With Emotions

by admin on October 5, 2010

surviving infidelitySurviving infidelity is a very delicate subject. Approaching with caution, however, there needs to be a truth in what it takes to overcome the ultimate betrayal. Living out our lives fully requires being part of a relationship.

Healthy relationships should be examples in our lives from our parents and other adults who have learned what it takes to participate in a successful relationship. You learn first of all what means to make a commitment, you get understanding on what the vows really mean, and you get understanding that you have to be able to say no to the destructive things in your life. All of this does have impact and surviving infidelity and dealing with the very strong emotions of infidelity in a relationship begin with understanding where and how some of these areas went lacking.

First, after arriving at the place that infidelity has occurred, you need to deal with the first emotions. Anger, betrayal, feeling vengeful and wanting to get back at the person who wronged you. You feel like the foundation of your relationship has crumbled. Sometimes the emotions have you spinning because you really do not know which emotion to react to. Surviving infidelity means dealing with these emotions. Denial is not a solution for anything, most importantly, the resulting emotions from betrayal.

The important thing about emotions is that they help you define where you are in order to move forward. One item of extreme importance is understanding that in God’s design of humanity, emotions were given as a gauge to help us.

Anger may be looked upon as a negative emotion, however, in order to understand the elements of calm, you need to know what anger is. The point here is that in order to deal with the betrayal of infidelity, anger is part of the many emotions that you will experience. When you accept the anger, the next step is responding to that anger.

How do you do that? You get help to make sure that destructive behavior is not the result of your response. Anger is an emotion that masks many others including loneliness, blame, shame, insecurity, and many feelings that are left neglected by the wayside. Dealing with infidelity means dealing with these emotions on a level of acknowledgement, understanding, and moving forward from the place that they hinder you.

Surviving infidelity is a challenge. It is a very hard thing and if you are daily in the midst of the person who wronged you, it can be a mountain to climb. Forgiveness is probably the one step that may the hardest to take, forgiveness of the other person and forgiveness of yourself. In order to forgive, though, you have to move anger out of the way.

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