Tips On How To Survive An Affair

by admin on October 3, 2010

survive an affairOnce all the dust has settled and anger is passed it is time for both of you to talk in order to find out how you are going to survive an affair. Start by asking one question and making one decision that could affect the course of your life – “do we still want to live together”?

If the answer is no, then fine; go your separate ways and begin an exciting new time of your life. If however you decide to make a go of it and are willing to do what it takes to survive an affair, then there is another painful question to answer.

Why did the affair happen in the first place? Once both of you understand the answer and can talk about it in a rational and calm manner then you both can make steps to eliminate the reasons for the affair and to minimise the chances that they will raise their ugly head again.

Having an affair actually boils down to lack of respect, both of you need to be honest and open about this. Were you not paying each other enough attention? Too tied up in work? Not spent enough time together? All these are easily fixable things once the decision is made to stick together and survive an affair.

Going forward and living a life together with a partner that has had an affair is by no means an easy task. There are bound to be suspicions and doubts, when ever the partners are away from each other. One partner could try to eliminate the doubts by being open and accessible whilst they are away and the other partner can try to trust the other again. It is a very difficult balance between letting go and overpowering suspicion.

If suspicion is going to get the better of you, then it is probably best to cut your losses and split up from each other. There is no avoiding the affair for the rest of your time together. Nobody is asking one partner to forget that the affair did not happen, but to realise that it was a stupid mistake and that both of you have learnt from it and moved on, only this time stronger together.

Surviving an affair does have benefits. You will both be stronger, understand each other more, pay more attention to the relationship and be more open to each other. If you have children it is even more important that the affair does not have repercussions on their lives. Staying together for the sake of the children is a guaranteed way to make their lives hell and affect them for their adulthood.

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